We think only kids believe in fairy tales, right? Those charming stories where pigs build houses, kids wander into gingerbread homes in the woods (seriously, where were the parents?), and Little Red Riding Hood mistakes a cross-dressing wolf for her grandma—what a wild ride! But here’s the kicker: as grown-up business owners, we’re still susceptible to fairy tales. They just look different now, popping up on Instagram and TikTok. Whether it’s childhood conditioning or just human nature, we keep falling for them, or as seasoned business folks might say, we keep falling for “bullshit.”

In sales and marketing, storytelling is crucial. But as consumers, distinguishing truth from fiction is a whole different ball game. Scroll through your social media or Google “Magical Solutions for Business,” and you’ll find a slew of storytellers—Unicorn breeders, as we call them at Don’t Burn Any More Money On Marketing. They promise unicorns that can solve all your business woes, and even though we know unicorns aren’t real, we sometimes can’t resist.

These Unicorn breeders are convincing. They paint vivid pictures of these magical creatures: they smell like candy floss, sparkle in the sun, grant wishes, and solve all your business problems for just £30,000 today! Deep down, we know it’s BS, but we still fall for it, only to end up with a deflated plastic toy. These modern-day snake oil salespeople have more power and knowledge than ever. They can validate their position with fabricated social proof and evidence, often from their own “farm.” 

Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is!

One of the biggest challenges for business owners is balancing rational thinking with emotional desire. We don’t buy with reason; we buy with emotion. Unicorn breeders know this and use every trick to play on our emotions. I’ve fallen for it myself, rationalising my emotions, thinking maybe it’s not a unicorn but just a flying horse (slap myself).

Here are some hints, tips, and tests to protect us from Unicorn breeders and focus on mules:

1. Contribution to Growth: Does their offer clearly and measurably contribute to your growth map?

2. Metrics and Impact: Can you quantify the impact or return on your business’s profitable growth?

3. Tangible Deliverables: Can you actually see and sign off what they are providing?

4. Reality Check: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Beware of offers that promise amazing results with no effort or downside.

5. Written Guarantees: Get everything in writing, with detailed guarantees.

6. Money-Back Guarantee: Ensure there’s a 100% money-back guarantee if they don’t deliver as promised.

7. Try Before You Buy: Legit offers will allow you to try before you buy. Ask for a free trial.

8. Look for the Downside: If they don’t mention potential challenges or risks, walk away. Knowing the downsides builds trust.

9. Testimonials and Reviews: Take testimonials with a pinch of salt—they might be fabricated or paid for.

As business owners, we tend to be trustworthy, seeing the world through that lens. But there are sharks out there, Unicorn breeders and snake oil salesfolk. At Don’t Burn Any More Money On Marketing We are straightforward. When you work with us, you’ll experience a partnership approach that is transparent and measurable. No “we are working on it” in the background—just real systems, processes, content, and live support.

Don’t invest in magical unicorns that can talk, fly, and smell like candy floss—they aren’t real. Instead, buy hardworking, stubborn, tenacious mules. They exist, and with focus and incentive, they’ll carry heavy loads up mountains for a long time to come.

Businesses of value take time, commitment, and energy. We only work with people who genuinely want to build a real business of real value. If you are looking for unicorns, silver bullets, magic wands, or snake oil, we at Don’t Burn Any More Money On Marketing don’t have any. 

We do have a shed load of mules, though.

Don’t Burn Any More Money On Marketing is a proud mule of a business. We will get you from where you are now to where you need to be, so that you can get to where you want to be. Which is FREE.